Mother of My Heir
by blithely blue
Summary: The night before Sesshomaru broke up with Kagome, he took all he could from her. Now, years later, he is trying to create a heir to no avail; his children do not bear the mark. There can only be one reason; his heir already lives... with a woman who wants nothing to do with him.
1. Chapter 1

Sesshomaru stared impassively down at the tired demoness; or, more specifically, the pup in her arms.

"What is the meaning of this?" His voice was low and dangerous.

The demoness flinched, not meeting his eyes. "I don't know, Lord Sesshomaru."

He glared at the infant, whose face was clean of everything; birthing fluids, blood, and most importantly, the mark of the House of Moon. "Have you been lying with another man, Izami?" Even as he spoke, he knew it could not be true. This inu demoness he had chosen to bear his heir had spent her pregnancy under his watchful eye. She could not have been with another, and it was not her fault the child was not the Heir. To count, she was the third female to fail at breeding him a Heir.

The first demoness Sesshomaru had chosen had birthed a daughter; the second, a son. Neither pups had been the Heir, and this most recent pup was not either, which was ridiculous, because the firstborn was the Heir. Always.

A throat cleared behind him. "This proves it, Sesshomaru."

"Proves what?" Sesshomaru turned his back on the mother. The child he would keep, like the others; the mother would be sent away with only a miniscule fraction of the money she had been promised for bearing the Heir.

"Very rarely, a Heir has been the second born, but never a third or fourth," said Kedakai Takahashi, the brother of his deceased father. "This can only mean one thing; your Heir has already been born."

Sesshomaru pushed a button to summon a nurse. "Impossible," he said dismissively. "I have never impregnated another female than the three I chose for breeding."

"That's the only answer left, Sesshomaru. Think hard. Before Takara, the first, did you ever bed another woman?"

"Of course," said Sesshomaru almost defensively. "Do you take me for a prude?"

"Of course not. Which is why I'm telling you to wrack your brain."

Sesshomaru fought the urge to roll his eyes. "I will just have to select another breeder," he said. "Because all the females before Takara, I bedded with caution…" He trailed off, his eyes widening.

Kedakai saw this and was triumphant. "Alright, who was it, Sesshomaru?" Neither of them paid any attention to the nurse wheeling Izami's bed out the door, leaving the two alone in the hospital room.

Sesshomaru shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "It was an insignificant girl… A _human_ girl. There is no way she could have carried my heir to term- -that she _would_ have. The morning after that only night we spent together, I left her. She was an independent creature with much ambition. She would have aborted him, I am certain."

"Well, obviously not, because none of the children you have sired with your breeders have the markings of a Heir." Kedakai walked out of the room, Sesshomaru following him. "You must find her immediately."

Sesshomaru hesitated still. "It must be another," he said, almost to himself. But that couldn't be true; she was the only one he hadn't used protection with. Damn, karma was a bitch. Out of all the females from his past, it had to be the one who hated him.

.

.

.

Weeks passed, and nothing got better.

"I'm sorry, Lord Sesshomaru, but we cannot find anyone with the name Kagome Higurashi."

Sesshomaru glared at the representative from the company he had hired to find the mother of his heir. "Impossible. Search harder."

"My lord, the only records we can find are those from her school years. After she graduated college, it seems she disappeared."

"Then look for women named Kagome. It's not that common. Comb through all the results until you find what I seek."

"We have, my lord, but none of the results are what you desire."

Sesshomaru lost patience. "Then get out of my sight."

"But my lord, the payment-"

"Your work was worthless. Now leave." He sent the poor man his famous glare, and listened to the door swing shut with restricted satisfaction. This was getting ridiculous. Kagome was intelligent, but not so intelligent as to manage to hide herself so completely. Also, she was ambitious. She had to have a well-paying, respectable job, which meant the company should have been able to find her. Ends weren't meeting up. What was going on? Frustrated, he stood up, intending to leave the office for today. And then his secretary piped up.

She was a timid little thing with huge brown eyes that could melt anyone's heart but his. "Er, sir," she began hesitantly. When he raked her over with an impatient glare, she shrank back, but still managed to stammer out, "I think I might have an idea as to how to find the woman you're looking for."

The wench had been eavesdropping. Sesshomaru was fuming. He didn't want his little problem to be public knowledge- -and then her words clicked. He was rounding on her in an instant, demanding to know what she meant.

Nervous, she said, "A lot of my friends from college always complain about what their lives could have been if it weren't for their children. They bemoan the fact that they didn't have protected sex, that they didn't take birth control, that they didn't get an abortion. They're constantly telling me how lucky I am that I was able to advance my career without a baby to drag me down. So… I couldn't help but hear about the woman and how ambitious she was. Well, it's quite possible that she was never able to make it as far as you thought because of the baby, which would explain the company's inability to track her down."

Sesshomaru cursed himself for not thinking of this. Well, he had considered it, but he had assumed she would have gotten a job regardless. But now that he thought of it, it would be extremely hard to land a competent job and work up a desirable career while caring for a child. Fresh out of college, she would have no money to pay for daycare services. And her mother had passed away several years before, leaving only her grandfather or little brother for family- -hardly the ideal candidates for taking care of an infant.

He hurried out of his office, nodding to Rin. He made a mental note to himself to add a bonus to her check this month- -and remind her to keep silent about this whole business. Stepping out of his company, he wanted to run to his destination, but he knew it was impractical. Flagging a taxi, he told the driver that the faster he could get him to the desired location, the bigger tip he would receive. The driver took one look at his clothes and peeled off down the street, his speedometer going higher than it ever had since the day it was manufactured.

.

.

.

Kagome closed her laptop and put her head in her hands, trying to digest all she had learned.

Now that Asahiro was six years old, she had decided to tackle an online course. The shrine was her home, but she didn't want to live here for the rest of her life, greeting the occasional guest and trying to pawn off souvenirs.

"Mommy?"

She turned in her chair and smiled at her son. "Hi, Asahiro. Do you want something?"

"Can I go outside for a few minutes? I feel trapped." His large golden eyes pleaded with her to say yes.

"Yes, you _may,_ " she said gently, taking him by the hand and leading him from the room. She felt bad that she tried to keep him inside as much as possible, and concealed his markings with makeup and tucked his hair into a black wig whenever they did go out. She knew that he hated it, but she had explained it to him. If anyone were to see him without his disguise, he would be taken away from her. Why? It was a very long story, one that she would tell him once he was older.

Kagome should have disguised him today as well, but it was only a quick breather and then it would all come off again. Besides, no one visited the shrine nowadays. Getting jackets for the two of them, she opened the front door- -and gasped.

His hand poised in the air to knock, wide golden eyes staring into hers, was her worst nightmare… Sesshomaru.

Pushing Asahiro behind her, she tried to shut the door, but he quickly pushed his way inside, unfolding his tall frame inside her home.

"What do you want, Sesshomaru?" she asked, trying to sound brave. As if she weren't trying to hide a six-year-old behind her back, who, by the way, was craning around her trying to catch a glimpse of the stranger.

He wouldn't meet her eyes: he was staring at what was visible of Asahiro. With a growl, Kagome said tersely, "Go to your room and stay there." With many a backwards glance, her son scurried up the stairs. She waved her hand in front of Sesshomaru's face, and he finally looked at her.

"Leave, Sesshomaru," she said firmly. "You got what you wanted from me seven years ago."

He seemed to regain his cold composure. "No, Kagome. I want my heir."

"He's not your heir. You never intended for him to exist in the first place, and for the past seven years you never even knew he existed!"

"He is indeed my heir. The markings on his face indicate his proud heritage. And as for my not knowing of his existence, I admit that I did not intend to create him- -"

"Damn right you didn't! You wanted to use me right from the start, and you got all you could from me before you left. You left the very morning after you convinced me to have sex with you, Sesshomaru. You're dirty and you're among the lowest."

"Watch your mouth," he said in a low voice, his eyes dark.

"Why should I? You've done nothing but take advantage of me and throw me away the moment you got what you could. Don't come crawling back to me and expect me to show you respect. Now get out of my house."

To her consternation, he seemed not taken aback, but _amused_. "I always did like your fire, Kagome."

Well, that sent her blood pressure shooting up lickety-split. "Don't you do that, Sesshomaru," she snapped. "Don't act like you ever liked anything about me but what lies between my legs. Now get out! Or does my grandfather need to chase you out?"

"One, your grandfather is not here, and neither is your brother. Second, we both know that his sutras are useless scraps of paper." He was infuriatingly calm. "Now, let's get back to the matter on hand. Give to me my heir, and I will leave."

"He's your son biologically, but that's it. As far as family goes, I am his only parent!" Kagome crossed her arms. "Just go back to your fancy penthouse suite and your gaggle of whores. You will never have my son."

"He is my son and my heir. Call him down or I will retrieve him myself."

"Don't you take a single step further into my home," she snarled. "It'll take me long enough to decontaminate what you've already touched."

"I can have you arrested for not informing me about my heir, and for trying to keep me from him," warned Sesshomaru. "I'm offering you a peaceful alternative."

"You can take your peaceful alternatives and shove them right up your ass!" Kagome raised her chin defiantly. "As for arrest? You underestimate me. I can tell the court exactly how Asahiro came to be, and they will be easily convinced to vote in my favor."

"So his name is Asahiro," Sesshomaru murmured, and she wanted to punch herself for telling him even that much. "And Kagome, you are a fool if you think you will win. A heir belongs with his sire. Anyone who tries to separate them is held accountable by demon law."

"It's not separating if you were never with him in the first place." Every line in Kagome's body was drawn with tension. "Go away, Sesshomaru. You are no father."

"Genetics disagrees, Kagome. I am not leaving until Asahiro is in my arms. I hope you realize that I can provide better for him than you ever could."

"You don't even deserve to call him by his name!" she shouted. "Are you such a self-entitled, arrogant brat to think that you can throw me out like yesterday's trash, then come running back to me once you realize I have something you want? _I will never let you have my son!_ " The last words came out as a scream.

He simply gazed coolly at her, and in the blink of an eye, he had maneuvered past her and was halfway up the stairs.

"No! Stop!" Desperate, she dashed after him, but by the time she had reached the top of the stairs, he had already found Asahiro's room and was inside. "Asahiro! Get away from him!" She ran down the hallway, but Sesshomaru shut the door in her face. Slamming into the door, Kagome tried to turn the doorknob, but a click told her he had locked it. Trembling, she beat frantically on the door. "Sesshomaru, let me in _right now!_ I'm telling you, right this instant! Asahiro, don't listen to anything he says. He's going to try and take you away from me!"

But still the door remained closed, and realizing she couldn't hear anything from within, Kagome collapsed to the floor, where she curled into a ball and let the first tears come. Everything she had tried so hard to salvage, a happy life with her son, it was all falling apart.

.

.

.

Sesshomaru shut the door behind him and locked it, all with one hand behind his back. He put up a sound barrier as well, so they wouldn't be disturbed. He did all this on some subconscious level, however. His eyes were hungrily fixed on his heir, who was huddled up on his bed, staring at him with fascination and fear. He was his heir indeed, with silver hair and golden eyes just like his, with the telltale crescent moon on his forehead and magenta stripes on his cheeks. From his looks, you would never know his human was a mother. His aura and scent as well radiated pure demon.

"Are you- -are you going to hurt me?" The child's voice was tiny and timid.

"No, Asahiro, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to give you everything you have ever dreamed of." Sesshomaru walked closer to the bed, ignoring the way his son shrank back from him. "Asahiro, I am your father."

"You can't be my father," the child protested. "He's left for good."

"Well, I have returned, and you're going to come live with me. You will like it, Asahiro. Your room alone will be bigger than this entire house."

"My mommy told me bad people would try to come and steal me away. I don't want to go. I want my mommy."

"No, you don't want your mommy, Asahiro. She's been taking very bad care of you." Sesshomaru swept his eyes around the room. "You will live like a prince with me." He took his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed his uncle, who was waiting outside, having met him here. When he picked up, he said curtly, "They are here. She is being resistant. We will probably have to extract him by force. Come." He hung up and realized that he had underestimated the intelligence of his heir.

"You didn't hurt Mommy, did you? If she doesn't want me to go, I'm not going!" Asahiro clutched his bedsheets tightly. "Go away!"

This was getting tiring.

Sesshomaru scooped up his son, firmly disentangling his little claws from the blankets. "You will soon realize your good fortune."

"No! No! Let me go!" Asahiro was screaming, golden eyes wide with terror. He struggled frantically in Sesshomaru's grasp, miniature arms and legs flailing. "Mommy! _Mommy!_ "

Shifting his hold so that the child was sufficiently restrained, Sesshomaru walked to the door, smelling that his uncle was on the other side, talking to Kagome. Unlocking it, he opened it and stepped out.

"We're done here, Uncle."

Upon seeing him, Kagome sprang to her feet, pushing away Kedakai. "Sesshomaru, let go of my son!"

"Mommy!"

"Asahiro! Don't worry, Mommy will take care of everything!" She dashed forward to block the hallway, standing in Sesshomaru's way. "Leave now, Sesshomaru, or I will call the police."

"Go ahead," drawled Sesshomaru. "Whose side do you think they'll take: Sesshomaru Takahashi, CEO of the top company in Japan, or a mere shrine girl?"

"I think they'll take the side of the woman whose baby is being stolen from her!"

Kedakai glanced at Sesshomaru. "Aren't you being a little hasty here, nephew? Surely we can sort this out without it getting ugly?"

"She refuses to stand down, and neither do I."

Stepping closer, Kedakai murmured in his ear, "You don't want the media getting involved in this, Sesshomaru. It's better to reach a compromise."

Realizing the truth in the elder youkai's words, Sesshomaru acquiesced. He could just see the headlines if the woman made a fuss.

 _Tycoon Takahashi's shocking scandal: the family who wants nothing to do with him._

 _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned: the mother of the Takahashi heir speaks out!_

"Very well. Kagome, I am willing to compromise."

"There's no _compromise_. I want you gone from our lives, forever!" The tears were still drying on her face, and Sesshomaru almost felt a pang of guilt. Almost.

"Look here, woman. We can do this one of two ways: the hard way or the easy way. The hard way is, we take this to court and leave the decision up to a jury of strangers who really only care about getting home, not what is best for Asahiro. The easy way is, we come to an agreement about how to resolve this matter, a way that makes both of us happy. It's quiet and it's private."

" _Private_. That's all you care about, isn't it, Sesshomaru? You just don't want your public name sullied with this whole affair." Kagome stomped her foot, eyes flashing. "Well, I'll tell you, I am not budging on the stance that Asahiro stays with me, and we never see you again. Nothing else will make me happy. There won't be any compromise, Sesshomaru. So unless you give up and leave, I _will_ be telling everyone about how you used me and forgot about me for seven years, then tried to kidnap my son. We'll see how well your precious company will do after that, _Takahashi-san_."

That little bitch. Sesshomaru was about to backhand her when Kedakai placed his hand gently on his arm. _Leave this to me_ , his uncle mouthed, then made his way to Kagome, who narrowed her eyes.

"Higurashi-san, you are an intelligent woman. Surely you can see how much better it would be for Asahiro to come with us. You are an unemployed female human. You can only provide him with so much before you die, not to mention the guidance he will need as he matures. That can only come from his father."

"A better life? You only want Asahiro for what is marked on his face. If he were a hanyou bastard, you would not give a _shit_ about him even if we were starving in the gutter. As for 'father'? Ha! Don't make me laugh. My son has no father, only an arrogant asshole who would like to fill that position all of a sudden, now that he finds himself in need of a heir. And as for my lifespan, don't worry. I'm going to be around for a very long time."

It was Sesshomaru's turn to narrow his eyes. "Did you mate with some idiotic demon, you whore?"

"Don't call _me_ a whore, you monster. Who is it that slept around like a flea in college, jumping from bed to bed? And I bet old habits still stand. As for my lifespan, it is none of your business and I see no need to divulge it with you."

She was angering him, this fiery little human woman with the blazing blue eyes. He was fully prepared to push right past her and damn the consequences, but Kedakai stepped in once again.

"Higurashi-san, please, think of your son. We can provide him a superior education, a prosperous home, and an empire to rule over. With you, he only has the life of a commoner. He can never hope for tutors in core subjects, of the fine arts. He will always be shunned and ostracized in any school you send him to. Besides, what kind of home for a taiyoukai is a shrine?"

"Maybe that's what I want for him," she said, but Sesshomaru could tell she was faltering. Kedakai seized on that opening.

"He will have private tutors on everything he ever wants. The piano, the cello, the violin, the flute. He will float at the highest of society circles, conversing with the prime minister and having lunch with stars. He will have servants at his beck and call, and he will take over one of the largest empires in the world. Fortune will smile upon him. Do not rob your child of such a glorious future, Higurashi-san." The elder taiyoukai's voice was low and convincing.

Kagome was visibly weakening. "I don't… I don't want my son to end up like _him_ ," she finally whispered, looking at the floorboards. "I don't want Asahiro to become like Sesshomaru. My child, growing up to break hearts indiscriminately and step all over the people he believes to be lower than him, carelessly ruining the lives of others- -I can't let that happen. I would sooner die." She looked up, meeting Sesshomaru's eyes. "I can't lose Asahiro. He's everything to me. Without him… my life would be meaningless. He is my _son_. Don't you see? I love him more than anything else in the world. I need him."

Although Sesshomaru would never admit it, it hurt to hear those things. It hurt to listen to the mother of his heir speak so low of him, to wish that his son would never be anything like him. Before he could stop himself, he said quietly, "For what it is worth, Kagome, I did love you. Very much."

She stared at him for a long moment, then blinked, and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Don't lie."

"It's not a lie." Sesshomaru looked away, remembering the night they had made love.

It had been magical, and they were lying together in bed, her sleeping and him watching her sleep, when his beast began to pull at him. It wanted to brutalize her, to make her bleed, to make her cry. He had been afraid of himself then, very afraid. He couldn't trust himself enough to sleep for fear that his soul youkai would take over and break the girl beyond repair. He had realized then, what it meant: his beast wanted to mate with the human. It was absolutely out of the question.

When a taiyoukai mated, its soul youkai would take over and do as it pleased. And if this particular girl made his want to claw her to pieces as he mated her? No, he wouldn't allow himself to do that. There was only one thing to do: cut the girl off completely. If he stayed with her any longer, it would only make his control over his soul youkai more unstable and make it more liable to lash out. He had to leave her instantly. But he didn't know how to do it. He couldn't tell her the truth- -if it ever got out, it would ruin his reputation. So how would he give her the excuse? Wake her up and thank her for the memories? How callous. Besides, he didn't trust himself to speak to her, to look into her confused eyes, without his beast doing something he would regret. So he settled on a note, scribbling in the moonlight: _My apologies, but this will never work out. This is for your time._ He had tucked several hundred thousand yen under the note and left it on the bedside table. Allowing himself one last look at her peacefully sleeping face, he had walked out of her life.

But he couldn't tell her that.

Quickly changing the subject, he offered, "Have him stay with me. You can visit anytime you please."

That only made her angrier. "Don't make _me_ the outsider, Sesshomaru. I've raised him for six years by myself. I won't become the visitor. If anything, _you_ should be."

He honestly thought the only solution then was to leave and take the boy with him, and fight her at court for his custody. And then his uncle piped up.

"Why don't you come and live with us as well, Higurashi-san?"

"I can't," was the immediate answer.

"Why not? You would be with Asahiro."

"I don't want to stay under the same roof as _him_."

"It'll be as if you two are living in separate suites," promised Kedakai. "Trust me, it's big enough for that. And it'll be completely charge-free. Just think of it as a pension for carrying the heir of the West to term and raising him for so long. We can even arrange for a salary."

"Why should I? Why, when I've started moving on with my life, should I have to bow down to _your_ whims? Why should I move out of my childhood home to stay with my son, who I should be allowed to keep anyways? Why?"

"You know why, Higurashi-san. You probably have been very strict with Asahiro going outside, and you haven't been sending him to school. Why?" Kedakai waited for her answer.

Her shoulders drooped, and she replied softly and dejectedly, "Because no matter what I do, you will be able to take him away from me. The courts are in your pocket, and although the media would have a field day with this, in the end, Asahiro would be yours."

"I'm glad we're finally on the same page, Higurashi-san. Now can we come to an agreement?"

In that moment, Kagome looked so frail, so tired as she stood there in the hallway. Then she lowered her head. "Yes."

"Good." Kedakai clapped his hands briskly. "If you don't mind, Higurashi-san, accompany us back to the office. Our lawyers can draw up a contract, and we can start moving your things in."

Sesshomaru, sensing the conflict was over for now, lowered Asahiro, who had been watching the entire exchange with huge golden eyes, to the floor. Immediately the young taiyoukai ran to Kagome, who wordlessly dropped to her knees and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut, and the air was thick with the scent of her tears.

He knew he had won, but Sesshomaru hardly felt like a victor. His son and heir feared and distrusted him, and his mother hated him. He turned away, and his uncle rested a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It'll be alright. You'll see."

As he glanced over his shoulder at the weeping mother of his heir, Sesshomaru didn't know.

-oOo-

 **Day Eleven of 12 Days of Christmas- -we're almost done! Another oneshot tomorrow, I think, to round things off!**

 **For those of you celebrating Christmas, Merry Christmas! Have fun decorating stockings, making cookies for Santa, or putting that extra touch on your tree! Wrap those presents well, and watch out for Santa tonight! (ho ho ho)**

 **And for those of you not, happy holidays, and I hope you guys are getting a nice and snowy winter. Snow angels, am I right? ;)**

 **Cheers!**

 **Philosophy Blue**


	2. Chapter 2

**CH 2**

 ***IMPORTANT PLEASE READ***

 **Okay, okay, hands in the air, I admit the ending for part one was a little dissatisfactory, but I thought it would be sad and 'real-life' for Sesshomaru to win over Kagome. I was actually trying to make you guys feel a little cheated and indignant, while simultaneously pleased with the story… if that makes any sense.**

 **Anyways, I've decided to add a second installment to the oneshot. I'm not sure there'll be more. It's a toss-up, really. I'm leaving this story marked as complete for now.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Asahiro was asleep, and the room was dark and silent.

Unable to sleep, Kagome blinked up at the ceiling. Everyone else in the huge apartment was sleeping, and it was quiet all around. They lived so up high that the sound of traffic far below never reached their ears.

It was moments like these, left to stew in her thoughts, when Kagome wondered what she could have done differently.

If she had gotten an abortion when she found out she was two months pregnant, would she have moved on completely with her life, and never seen Sesshomaru again?

If she had cornered Sesshomaru and told him she was pregnant, what would he have done? Would she be where she was now, or would she have given up the baby and disappeared from his life for good?

And the crowning uncertainty that haunted her dreams: what if she had moved to another city, or even to another country? Anything but something so easily recalled as her childhood home. What if she had tried to hide herself better? Would Sesshomaru have been able to find them? What if, having made a different choice all those years ago, at this very moment Kagome could be sleeping with Asahiro in their own home?

Kagome pondered these things as she lay among the twisted bedsheets, her son curled up beside her. But as she stared into the blackness, she grudgingly acknowledged that Asahiro had it good here. Her precocious child, whom she had always known to be highly intelligent, was thriving. Without the restrictions she had been forced to impose on him, due to their isolation, he was learning so much, so quickly. His tutors had nothing but praise for her little boy, who had already caught up to his grade level and was now making fast progress to overtake the next. Smiling softly, she reached down and stroked a piece of hair off his peaceful face.

"My little prince." She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead, right on the dark blue crescent moon. "My perfect little prince."

Settling back onto her pillows, she closed her eyes and willed sleep to come over her, but she remained wide awake. With a soft sigh, she sat up in bed, careful not to disturb her son, and wrapped a robe around herself. "I won't get any sleep like this." She padded through the apartment, hating the vastness of it all. How she wished she were home.

Pondering the past, she paused in the sitting room, where an entire wall was made of glass. She walked closer to the huge window and stood there for a long time, gazing down on the glittering city far below.

"You cannot sleep."

Startled, she glanced back into the dark room. "What- -" Then he shifted slightly on the sofa, and the moonlight glinted off his silver hair and briefly illuminated his face, so much like her son's. "Sesshomaru." Not wishing to talk to him, not caring enough to wonder why he was also out of bed, she started to leave.

"No, stay."

She didn't want to. But he got out of his seat and joined her at the window, and she saw that he was holding a glass of wine. Seeing her look at it, he said quietly, "It gets me through the pain."

Just like that, her fuse was lit. "Pain? You want to talk to me about _pain_ , Sesshomaru?" She glared at him. "The demon lord who has all he ever wanted, the demon lord surrounded by decadent luxuries, the demon lord who step on any and all who oppose him, wants to talk to the woman who is forced to live with the man who scorned her and fears that she will be separated from her son, about _pain?_ "

Sesshomaru looked away. "You don't know my pain, Kagome."

"Don't even say my name, alright?" She turned away, disgusted. "I'm going to bed. Go drink away your sorrows or whatever."

"Kagome."

She didn't know why she stopped, but she did, waiting with turned back to hear what he had to say.

"Why didn't you abort him?"

She had been expecting this question. "Oh Sesshomaru," she chuckled coldly. "I hope you didn't think me a lovely martyr. I love Asahiro with all my heart, but I'm not an idiot. I know how pregnancy can ruin your life. The first thing that came to mind when I realized I was pregnant was abortion."

"Then… why?"

She snorted bitterly. "It was too expensive." The harsh words hung like ice crystals in the air, and she could practically feel his eyes scorching into her back. "What do you expect, Sesshomaru? Abortion costs hundreds of thousands of yen, in cash."

Slowly, he said, "But that night… when I left that note… I attached…"

"Fuck you," she interrupted. "Do you take me for a whore? I donated the money to the orphanage that raised my mother. It was all gone by the time I found out about… Rest assured, I would have used it in a heartbeat."

He was silent for a moment. "I see… Tell me how you plan to live as long as Asahiro."

She froze, this question affecting her much heavily than the last. "It… it's none of your business, Sesshomaru." She swallowed hard. "Twenty Questions is over."

"I am the father of your son. I deserve to know."

"Maybe if you hadn't used, manipulated, and practically abducted me, I would tell you," she said snidely. "However, you did, so you may ask your penis instead. It seems to make most of your decisions for you anyways. Good night."

.

.

.

After she had left, Sesshomaru remained where he was standing, staring blankly into the dark night that pressed heavily against the glass inches from his nose.

He had thought that he could begin to heal the rift between them when she moved in, and perhaps get close enough to see if his beast still wanted to brutalize her. But from the very start, when he opened the door to his penthouse and she brushed past him without a word, she had made it clear that their relationship was irreparable. His son also clearly despised him. Asahiro hadn't spoken a single word to him, and barely nodded or shook his head when Sesshomaru tried to engage him in conversation. Any open-ended questions were met by an empty stare. Once, he had overheard a conversation between him and his mother.

" _Mommy, I hate him. I want to go home."_

" _Shhh… The walls have ears here." Rustling as she gathered his son in her arms. "Just wait, Asahiro. I'm trying to get us out."_

 _A childish sigh. "I love you, Mommy."_

" _I love you too, Asahiro. Let's go to bed; you have a busy day tomorrow."_

He hadn't been too worried about what she had said- -there was nothing she could do. He was more concerned with the silence of his suite. Before, Sesshomaru would converse with his uncle—whom, now, was the only person who attempted to carry a conversation. His head constantly hurt, and the stony silences from the new residents pained his ears with their loudness. His other children, whom he had taken in although they hadn't been the heir he expected, were still too young to do more than gibber and giggle. Besides, they had been moved out to his country house when they had started venturing out into the rest of the apartment and wreaking havoc on the place.

He had tried to reach out. He had taken her out to dinner. He had taken his son to the mountains, where he owned a huge, sprawling valley, and tried to coax him into his true form by assuming his own. He had gazed down at the tiny humanoid body of his son between his paws, and even in his most bestial form, Sesshomaru had been hurt when Asahiro slowly and deliberately turned his back and walked away. The drive back had been silent and crushing in its discomfort.

His uncle, who had started off cheerfully by assuring him that everything would be alright, had wilted considerably. While Kagome and Asahiro condescended to talk to him, dialogue was restricted to questions and answers. How was your day? No different from yesterday. Can you make us your famous oden, Kagome-san? No. Why not? I don't want to.

Whenever possible, she took Asahiro out to the mall or park, or just walking. Sesshomaru always sent youkai to follow and monitor them in case they desired to run away. They probably knew they were being followed, but they never showed it, always keeping their backs turned.

Musing over his colorless life, Sesshomaru sipped his wine. The dark, velvety brew slid like silk down his throat, numbing a miniscule fraction of the dull ache in his heart. Swallowing hard, he savored the musky cherry flavor on his sensitive tongue. His closest companion in these dark days, no? This wasn't the first night he had been unable to sleep.

"Sesshomaru?"

He turned to see his uncle blinking blearily at him. "Uncle."

"I told you, you have to stop doing this. What kind of example do you think you're setting for your son?" The elder taiyoukai walked up to him and slipped the wine glass out of his hand.

Without bothering to answer, Sesshomaru strode straight past his uncle. He wasn't in the mood.

"Nephew."

Sesshomaru didn't stop.

" _Sesshomaru_." Now the voice was sharp, carrying the razor edge of glass.

Clenching his jaw, he stopped and waited, stubbornly presenting his back to his elder.

"You can't let it go on like this, you know. They're your family. Your pack. You need them, and they need you."

"That is apparently not so."

"Sesshomaru. Whatever possessed you to treat the girl so in the first place, anyways? What kind of a man beds his woman, beguiling her with sweet words, then leaves her when the sun rises?"

"You know nothing of the circumstances."

"And I would normally say that it might be better for it to stay that way, but this is ridiculous. It's your son and heir, for God's sake. And she is his mother. Make peace with them."

"Have you been under a rock? Have you been blind? Have you been deaf?"

"You're not trying hard enough. Women are strange creatures, Sesshomaru. Grovel. Grovel like the dog you are, and she may listen."

"This Sesshomaru does not grovel."

"For your family, you do. For the woman who should rightfully be your mate, you do."

Eyes narrowing in the darkness, Sesshomaru walked back to the window. "I do not want things to be as they are. But I refuse to drop to my knees and beg."

With a soft sigh, his uncle mussed his bangs with a sleep-warmed hand. "And therein lies your problem."

.

.

.

She had been living with Sesshomaru for three months when he contacted her.

"Cash or credit, ma'am?"

"Credit."

Kagome handed the cashier one of several cards Sesshomaru had given her, and the woman happily rang up her purchase.

"Would you like to sign up for a rewards card with us?"

"No thanks."

"Alright then, here's your receipt. Have a good day, and come again!"

"Yup." Slinging her bags over her arms, Kagome turned to leave, and her phone buzzed almost angrily in her pocket. Sighing, she left the store and sat down on a bench to accept the call. As soon as she saw the contact name, a hard lump formed in her throat, but she had been prepared for this. With a deep breath, she tapped the bright green icon and raised her phone to her ear, lowering her voice. "Hello?"

"Hello, Miss Higurashi. I would like to meet you sometime this week. What times are free?"

"I'm free right now," she answered.

There was a slight pause. "Can you meet me at the Sweet Tooth bakery at- -"

"The mall?" she interrupted. "That's good, I'm already here."

"Alright. I'll be there in half an hour." He hung up.

Kagome slowly lowered the phone to her lap, staring with unseeing eyes at the smooth fabric of her skirt. The junction between her neck and her shoulder prickled as if stabbed with a thousand tiny needles, and her eyes burned as she remembered.

It had been the worst right after the pregnancy. Taking care of a newborn was exhausting, and with her mother having passed away, Kagome was helpless save vague instincts. Her grandfather and little brother were hardly helpful. She stayed up all night, every night, tiredly rocking her baby and trying to get him to sleep, to breast feed, to stop throwing up, to stop crying. She would beg Asahiro to stop wailing, while tears streamed down her own face. Often was the time she would see the sun rise before he finally settled down. God, she had wanted to die.

And the doctor- -the youkai who had delivered her baby, he visited once every other week, simply sitting by and staring at her while she took care of Asahiro's incessant needs. He had managed to disguise Asahiro quickly enough so that none of the nurses could see the telltale markings, but there was no erasing what he had seen. He knew her secret, and a simple phone call or email to the father would destroy Kagome's world. That time had been nerve-wracking; she didn't know what he wanted. And then, when Asahiro was five months old and Kagome was just starting to return to her normal weight again, he had made her an offer.

He was middle aged for a youkai, about a little less than twice Sesshomaru's age. A member of a dying species of youkai, he had been desperate for a breeding partner. Apparently his clan, determined to stay pure, had been forced to inbreed for centuries, resulting in odd demons who were either or both physically and mentally deformed. He was one of the last healthy youkai. He had been losing hope, as all the other females of his species were closely related to him, but seeing her had given him an idea. Kagome had proved that she could bear a son, who, while he had human heritage, had the body and soul of a full youkai, with her recessive human genetics. He made a compelling argument: Kagome would bear his clan ten children, spaced out over the years. No outsider would ever know of her involvement. In return, he would mate her, extending her life to match his own. It was beneficial for both parties. His species, with careful breeding, would live: and she would be able to travel the walk of life alongside her son, without fearing the ravages of time. She had agreed. Ten childbirths was nothing to the love she had for her son and the eternity of her augmented life.

So far, she had only carried that youkai's child, about two years after they made the pact. He had mated her then, his sharp fangs digging into her shoulder as he covered her pale, trembling body with his own. The pregnancy had only lasted ten months, in comparison to the twelve of Asahiro's. He had been with her whenever he could without looking suspicious. The agreement being that she would let go of the children and never acknowledge them or step forth as their mother, he had taken the child from her a few weeks after birth. She had grieved, but even during the pregnancy she had known he would not be hers, so she had been somewhat prepared for the gut-wrenching pain of separation. At least she had never seen her second son again: the youkai had been considerate in that regard.

Now that several years had passed, she had expected him to drop by with one of his brothers, or perhaps a cousin. They would probably want another son, and then a daughter. How youkai planned the gender of their babies, she wasn't sure. It couldn't be conscious choice: maybe something about their bodies picking up on the stress and fervent desire of the consciousness? She thought she remembered him talking about it once. Well, it didn't matter. She had what she needed: a line to tie herself to Asahiro.

She loved him. She loved him so very much. She loved him enough to offer herself up like this so that she could stay beside him, so that he didn't have to watch his mother wither away as he was barely reaching his teen years.

 _God. Asahiro… I love you._

 _._

 _._

 _._

Eito's job was to keep the woman from running. That, and protect her as a bodyguard of sorts. Well, it was unlikely she would make a break for it without her son, so that was a weight off his mind. Either way, it really wasn't his business what the woman did as long as she didn't randomly hop on a plane or get kidnapped or something, but something didn't feel right as he followed her to Sweet Tooth. His keen ears had picked up some of the phone conversation, and while it had sounded innocent enough, it had set off a quiet bell inside his mind. So he sat down in the cheerful little bakery, not far from the woman, and waited for whoever she was meeting. He didn't have to wait long.

A young youkai slid into the booth across from the woman, smiling pleasantly. "Hello, Miss Higurashi."

"Hello. How are you?"

"Good and well. And you?"

"Not so much."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Eito's face remained expressionless as he nibbled on his cake, pretending to look at his phone, but his mind was racing, trying to connect the dots. They didn't sound like a couple at all. Could this man be blackmailing her?

"Let's get down to business, Miss Higurashi. How does tonight sound?"

"I can't. It's movie night."

"How late do you plan on staying up?"

"I don't know, as long as the movies last. I don't think tonight will work."

"It will take less than an hour."

"Why the hurry? You've waited years. A couple more days won't kill you."

"I will be returning to my homeland in two weeks' time. I'd like to meet you every night till then."

"Two _weeks?_ "

"Yes. Must I remind you, Miss Higurashi, of our agreement?"

"...No. I remember quite well. Fine. But not tonight. Starting tomorrow."

"Miss Higurashi, it took multiple attempts last time."

"If I hadn't been able to meet you for three more days, we'd only have eleven days. Just pretend that this meeting happened tomorrow."

"Miss Higurashi, I insist. I will be at the same place, room 407. Come as late as you please."

She gave in. "Fine. Expect me around one or two."

"I will."

"I'll see you then." She stood up. "Goodbye."

Eito hurriedly downed the rest of his cake. He had been going slowly in case they talked for a long time. He cleared his area in record time and stood to leave- -and caught the youkai's eyes.

The youkai was staring hard at him, eyes flinty.

Feigning nonchalance, Eito looked away and strode breezily out of Sweet Tooth, feeling the weight of the youkai's stare prickling heavily on the back of his neck.

.

.

.

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "And you did not know the youkai?"

"No, my lord."

"Very well. You are dismissed."

When the agent had left, Sesshomaru stared prospectively at his intertwined fingers. Just what was she up to?

.

.

.

He knew the moment she left the apartment.

Asahiro was snugly asleep, unaware that the other side of the bed was rapidly growing cold. After she had closed the door quietly behind her, Sesshomaru stepped out of the shadows and walked to the window, peering down as if he could see her tiny form exiting the building. He waited.

.

After ten minutes, he poured himself a glass of wine.

.

Ten minutes after that, he refilled the glass.

.

Five minutes later, he forced himself to set down the empty glass.

.

Thirty minutes more had passed when he heard footsteps in the hall. He took a seat and let the shadows engulf him again.

The door opened, and Sesshomaru was greeted with the all-consuming stench of another male. He rose slowly to his feet, ignoring her cry of surprise, his eyes wide as he inhaled again. She did not… she did. With that realization came fury. He stalked toward her, fingers twitching.

"What have you done?" His voice was low, menacing.

She raised her chin, the little chit, and said _defiantly_ , "It's none of your business."

He took her chin in one finger and stepped closer, forcing her head to crane back. "What a whore you are," he said harshly. He smirked bitterly. "It seems I dodged a bullet twice; once when I was the first to lay with you, and second when I left you."

She jerked back and her hand swung toward him , but he intercepted her wrist before her palm could make contact with his cheek. "Shut up, Sesshomaru! What do you care if I sleep around?" She tried to free herself from his grasp, but his grip was iron as he pulled her even closer.

"I will not allow the mother of my heir to whore around like a common prostitute. Wash yourself immediately, and know that this will never happen again."

"Fuck you!" she hissed.

His grip on her wrist tightened. "Mind your tongue."

"You don't control me, asshole."

"...What did I ever see in you?" The last part was said wonderingly.

"You know, I've wondered that for the past seven years. Welcome to the club." Her legs suddenly wobbled, the pain between her legs reverberating, and she toppled forward until she was awkwardly hanging by her arm in Sesshomaru's grasp. The jerk only twisted her wrist to make her even more uncomfortable, and she scrambled to her feet, backing away as far as she could with him still holding onto her. "Let _go!_ We can talk about this tomorrow."

"We discuss this now." He dragged her to the sofa and forced her to take a seat. "What kind of example do you think you are setting for Asahiro?"

"Just shut up, Sesshomaru. Shut up right now. You don't know what I'm going through right now, alright? Let- -the _fuck_ \- -go!"

"You will calm down. Asahiro is becoming disturbed."

Panting, she clenched her fists. "Let me _go!_ " she spat, her voice a harsh whisper.

"You will tell me whom it was."

"You won't get anything from me."

His grip tightened. "You are grounded."

"You don't _control_ me! I'm an adult."

"You have shown that you cannot make wise, clear-headed decisions."

Trembling, she finally snapped. "It's none of your business if I want to have sex with my _mate!_ "

Shocked, Sesshomaru finally released her. She immediately leapt to her feet and backed away.

" _What?"_ His voice was low and guttural.

She was shaking. Slowly, she reached to her collar and pulled down her shirt, revealing a symbol on the crook between her neck and shoulder. A symbol he recognized, but that wasn't important right now.

He rose to his feet and walked forward. With every step he took, she took a step backward, until he had her backed up against the wall. Trapping her between his arm and the wall, he leaned forward and sniffed at the mark, snarling silently at the stench of the male.

His mind was racing. At last her words, spoken out of fury and desperation at her former dwelling months ago, made sense.

" _My son has no father, only an arrogant asshole who would like to fill that position all of a sudden, now that he finds himself in need of a heir. And as for my lifespan, don't worry. I'm going to be around for a very long time."_

She had a youkai mate who had lengthened her lifespan. And he was clearly alive and well. But then, why had she living at the shrine? … Then it clicked, and with the realization came a sharp pang in his chest. She had become the youkai's mate, violating her own vow to find love in such a relationship, in order to live as long as her son. But, what was she offering the youkai? Sex?

"Children." She was quiet as she confessed. "He knew I could bear youkai children with the genetics of the father. He mated me, in exchange for a certain number of children I would bear him and his clan."

"How many?"

"Ten. This… this would be my second."

Sesshomaru pushed himself away from Kagome, raking his fingers through his hair in a rare display of emotion. So that was why his primal instincts had been quiet in her presence. It wasn't because he no longer wished to hurt her. It was because his soul youkai had sensed the mating mark on the woman.

He paced in front of the vast window, sharply silhouetted against the night sky. What was he going to do? No, what was he feeling right now? He had buried his feelings for her long ago, so why was this news upsetting? Ah, he realized why. If it was ever leaked that the mother of the Takahashi heir was mated to another demon, the ruckus it would cause would be immense. They would demand to know why. A couple interviews with the people they had gone to university with would reveal the answers, and anyone with half a brain could connect the dots to discover the sickening truth. He spun around to face Kagome.

"You're a fool. Why didn't you come to me?" he demanded.

"Are you seriously going to ask me that?" she asked disbelievingly. "When you know very well on what terms we parted?"

Gritting his fangs, he spun back around, his silver hair in disarray. " _Fool_." But this time, it wasn't meant for her. It was meant for him.

For a long moment, silence hung in the air.

Then, she said quietly, "I'm going to take a shower, then go to bed."

He didn't try to stop her as she left. With a groan, he returned to the window and leaned his forehead against the cool glass, closing his eyes. Unbidden, her name came to his lips, and he did not have the mental fortitude to silence himself.

" _Kagome…_ "


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the chiding reviews, dear readers. As of now, MoMH is an ongoing fic. *back breaks under pressure* I tried my best to produce my best chapter for you, and I hope I don't disappoint. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **CH 3**

Kagome panted and cried as she strove to expel the baby from her body.

"Ahh… Ahhhh!"

"Just a bit harder, Miss Higurashi. We are almost done."

"Nnnh… Ahhh!" With a final scream, she sank back onto the bed, exhausted and soaked with sweat, as the doctor held her baby- -no, _his_ baby- - in his arms.

"A beautiful girl. You have done well, Miss Higurashi."

Tears threatening to spill from her eyes, she could only manage a faint groan. God, she had to do that eight more times. She swore then and there that after that, she would never carry a child again.

Her mate smiled gently down at the wailing bundle in his arms and called for the nurses to assist him. "Rest, Miss Higurashi."

Unable to keep the faint sob from escaping her, she sank down into the pillows and buried her tears in the cotton sheets. She knew she would never see the child again, and while she had known and accepted it, it still tore at her heart. She hadn't even gotten to see the face this time.

.

.

.

The hospital room walls, while reinforced, were still too thin to spare his sensitive youkai ears. Sesshomaru leaned against the wall, a perfectly still statue as he listened to her screams. They abruptly ceased, and it didn't take long for the doctor to step out into the hallway, the swaddled baby in his arms.

The youkai saw him and bowed slightly. "Mr. Takahashi." His voice was impeccably polite. Straightening up, he was continuing on his way when the inu taiyoukai spoke, so quietly as to be supposed to be directed at himself; but the doctor knew better.

"You knew she was mine."

After a slight pause, the youkai shook his head. "With all due respect, the two of you were estranged. You had no claim to her."

"That may be so, but you should have alerted me to the birth of my heir."

"I am not of this land, Mr. Takahashi. I owe allegiance none to but the House of mine own."

Sesshomaru barked a bitter laugh. "And so you sought to take for your own the woman fated to give birth to perfect youkai offspring."

"I saw the hope for my clan, and I took it."

Sarcasm dripped thickly from Sesshomaru's tongue as he said, "I applaud you for your foresight." He watched as the doctor began to walk away. "I expect no sum of money to sway you?"

"None, Mr. Takahashi."

"Then I challenge you for Kagome Higurashi's mating."

The doctor stopped.

The nurses were beginning to emerge from her room, and they glanced from him to the doctor, confused by the charged atmosphere.

"Doctor...?"

"Take this child and put her in the unit I prepared. I will be with you in a moment."

"Yes, Doctor."

Once they had gone, Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow. "Well, _Doctor?_ "

"I refuse," said the youkai calmly. "It will put Miss Higurashi in undue danger, and for the sake of what? A shred of spared taiyoukai pride?"

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. "You overstep your bounds. Accept my challenge and fight."

The youkai shook his head. "I am amazed at your rashness, Mr. Takahashi. The dissolving of a mating is extremely hazardous, and on the rare occasions that it has been accomplished, it has almost always meant the death of- -"

"It can be done," he interrupted. Ah, yes, it could. He knew that better than most.

Even now he could hear the pained groans of his mother as she struggled with the aftermath of his father's betrayal. In the end, she had recovered, the impeccably-bred taiyoukai that she was, and was now all the better for it; she was world-renowned for her beauty, fashion line, and acting skills. She even spent brief stints of time married to whichever men managed to capture her flitting fancy. When he and his mother put their influence together, there was nothing that couldn't be achieved. "Besides, I plan to replace your mating mark immediately with my own. That will sufficiently lower the possibilities of- -"

"Mr. Takahashi, I suggest you obtain the agreement of Miss Higurashi to mating you before you issue a challenge."

"She will be persuaded. The risk of mating again is nil compared to the pain she faces if she stays with you."

The doctor's mouth twitched. "My, but you are a handful, Mr. Takahashi. I understand why Miss Higurashi felt the need to conceal herself and her child from your eye."

"Do you not see the cost of your precious children upon your _mate?_ The only thing keeping her from taking her own life is my son."

"That is indeed regrettable," sighed the doctor. "But I'm afraid there's no alternative. My clan needs the promised ten children. The covenant we signed cannot be dishonored. My mate she will remain, and she _will_ bear ten children. It's mutually beneficial, and it was agreed upon long before you came into the picture, Mr. Takahashi."

"You took advantage of her," said Sesshomaru icily. "She was physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted when you made your proposal."

"She was of sound mind when we made the deal. Now, excuse me, Mr. Takahashi, there is a beautiful baby girl I must tend to- -"

"You are _destroying_ her!"

"Mr. Ta- -"

"You know fully well that each pregnancy stabs her deep in her breast and each time she gives birth it twists maliciously in her heart till she is weeping tears of blood for the children she will never know. Ere the number ten has been reached, she will be but a husk of her former self. Open your eyes, blind one, and relinquish your claim upon her."

The doctor gazed at him coldly. "Such heartfelt words, Mr. Takahashi… One might even say you cared."

Sesshomaru glared at the elder youkai. "I care for her ability to mother my heir. I am warning you… Remove your claws from Kagome Higurashi."

With a humorless chuckle, the doctor turned away. "Mr. Takahashi, you do not intimidate me. Unless you plan on using those fangs, kindly tuck them away. This is a place of healing and life."

"And yet in this very place the mother of my heir dies a little death tenfold. As one who has taken the vows of the healer, would you impose this living hell upon an innocent woman?"

"Would that I could spare her the pain," admitted the youkai. "Yet first to me comes allegiance to my clan. My apologies, Mr. Takahashi, but I'm afraid I cannot undo the covenant." His face hardened. "Persist any further with this and you will answer to my House. It would not be pleasant, even for one of your enormous stature… and ego." A small smile twitched on his lips. "Good day." He bowed again, but this time it was clearly mocking.

He strode away, leaving a frustrated taiyoukai behind.

.

.

.

The water was steaming hot as it beat down on him from above.

Sesshomaru closed his eyes and let the drops cascade over his face, washing away the grime of the day. His hair quickly absorbed the water and became a thick, heavy sheet that hung down his back.

Kagome had been released from the hospital today, limping painfully into the apartment, stomach still stretching the fabric of her shirt. She had immediately crawled into bed, Asahiro snuggling in next to her. She had acted as if he was invisible.

He reached for the tall, slender bottle of shampoo on the shelf above him. Mechanically massaging the pearly golden liquid into his scalp, he allowed the jets of hot water to rinse away the foam. Sighing, he was preparing to condition his hair, wondering what he would be doing this very instant if he had never left her (perhaps this shower would be more crowded?), when, lo and behold, the shower door slid open.

Shocked, he could only stare as Kagome stepped into the shower and closed the frosted glass door behind her. She wore only a thin, oversized button-up shirt that hung open to reveal her bra and panties. Was this a figment of his tormented imagination?

"Kagome- -"

"Shh," she whispered, staring up at him with wide, blank eyes. She was quickly becoming wet, her hair hanging in damp ropes. The droplets glistened on her lashes like diamonds, glittering when she blinked.

Unsettled, Sesshomaru opened his mouth to protest, but she silenced him with a single look, stepping closer and pressing herself against his stomach. She wrapped her arms around him, hands clutching his broad, muscled back like cold vises.

"Kagome, _stop_." What the hell was going on? The woman hated him. He pushed her away gently. "You don't know what you're doing. Go dry yourself."

"I know perfectly well what I'm doing," she murmured. "I'm not insane." She suddenly laughed. "I'm not, Sesshomaru." She stepped reluctantly back. Leaning against the wall, she gazed at him through heavy-lidded eyes, seemingly uncaring that her drenched clothing was clinging to her every curve.

Growing increasingly uncomfortable, he applied a handful of conditioner to the ends of his hair, trying to finish his shower as quickly as possible. She watched him, never blinking once. "Could this not wait until I am done, Kagome?"

"No… I woke up, Sesshomaru, and I was cold." She rubbed her arms absently, staring into thin air. "So cold."

The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up. "Kagome…"

"Why did you do it?" she asked abruptly.

"Do what?"

"Why did you leave me?"

Sesshomaru was silent for a moment. Why was she asking this now? She had been living with him for over a year now, and she had never cared to pursue the matter. Well, if she wanted to know, she would know. It was her right… he knew that now. He should have told her before he left.

"I… You are aware of my soul youkai," he began stiffly.

She simply stared at him with that peculiar blankness that he was beginning to hate.

"That night, as we lay together after our coupling, my soul youkai began to stir. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to drag my claws along your skin, to feel your blood running through my fingers… running down my throat. I wanted to… dominate you completely. I realized that I wanted you as my mate. But in order to do so, I would have to release my soul youkai, rewinding the spool of evolution so that I am my most primitive self, incapable of developed logic and reasoning. And if I did that, I would harm you beyond repair. Even being in your proximity threatened my self-control. I realized I could not stay with you. How could I, when on the basest level, I wanted to hurt you? I left. I should have told you why; if not face to face, then on paper. But every breath I took brought your scent to my nose and encouraged my soul youkai to attempt to overpower my reasoning. And… I could not bear the thought of it getting out; the word that Sesshomaru Takahashi was losing his self-control; that he wanted to brutalize a woman." He had to force himself not to look away from her broken eyes. "That is why, Kagome. That is why I left you without a single explanation."

She sucked in a sharp breath. Her hands- -no, her entire body was shaking. "All this time…" she whispered, her voice trembling. "All this time, Sesshomaru, I thought you had been using me. For many days after that, I would stand naked in front of the mirror and try to find the flaws that you must have seen." She stared wildly around. "Were my breasts too small? Too big? Did they sag? Was… was my womanhood unsightly? All this time…" Tears ran down her face, mixing with the spray. " _All this goddamn time, Sesshomaru!_ "

He looked away. "I'm sorry, Kagome."

She shook her head. "No, don't apologize. I… I studied youkai behavior after you left. Your reasons were your own, and they were sound…" She broke off and suddenly looked up, and her eyes blazed with fury. "You didn't trust me! I would not have breathed a word to anyone about it, and you should have known that, Sesshomaru Takahashi!" She was sobbing now. "You wanted to _mate_ me..." She sank to the floor, where she curled into the tightest of balls. " _Mate…_ "

He stood there silently, claws digging into his palms, as she cried herself out, her wails echoing in the tiled bathroom. Her tears eventually slowed and she buried her face in her hands.

Then she said slowly, between hiccups, "I heard you."

"Heard me what?"

"I heard you talking to him. The doctor. The night I gave birth."

He took in this information quietly, not knowing how to react. "And, Kagome?"

"I…" She slowly raised her eyes to meet his, her hands lowering to her sides. "I just wanted to say thank you."

The scent of her blood suddenly filled the air, and the water swirling around their feet tinged pale pink. Sesshomaru tried not to breathe in the intoxicating scent too deeply. After giving birth, she had been bleeding heavily. This, he was assured, as perfectly normal. But that didn't help his body's reaction to that particular stimulus… which he couldn't exactly conceal at this very moment. This only supported his belief that his base self desired and reveled in her blood.

But she kept her eyes fixed steadily on his. "To have someone concerned for me, enough to challenge him so… It touched me deeply and brought me happiness at a time when I was so low. Thank you, Sesshomaru."

He shrugged, uncomfortable with accepting thanks for a fruitless endeavor. "It accomplished nothing."

"Not nothing," she murmured. Rising to her feet, she stepped closer to him, her body dangerously near his, and tilted her head back so she could keep eye contact. She could feel his arousal now, but she still made no acknowledgement of it. "Sesshomaru…" Her eyes were dark and hazy.

He was holding still as much as possible. Her warm, wet body brushing up against his was not helping him at all. "Kagome?"

She laughed softly, leaning her head against his chest. "Oh, Sesshomaru…" She suddenly stiffened. "I… I'm sorry, too." Seemingly unaware of him staring down disbelievingly at her, she continued, "I shouldn't have been such a vindictive bitch to you and your uncle. Poor man never did me any wrong."

"Kagome…"

"And… and I shouldn't have hidden Asahiro from you. No matter how we had parted, how I felt about you, he was your son and heir. I'm sorry. You missed out on his life, and that gap is irreparable."

He clutched her closer to his chest. His heart was indescribably light and he could hardly remember to breathe. "Kagome, does this mean…"

"Let's start over," she whispered. "I forgive you."

"I forgive you too. Kagome, there's so much we have to- -"

And then, to his shock, her eyes slid closed and she fell limp, her knees buckling as she toppled forward.

His arms automatically shot out to catch her. "Kagome?" He buried his nose in her hair and breathed in deeply, but smelled nothing wrong. Oh wait, what was that scent? Harsh and bitter, coursing through her blood… He recognized it and his heart sank. Medication. It was the pain medication the hospital had sent home with her. She hadn't been in her right mind. When she woke up, she probably wouldn't even remember what had transpired her.

He held her close to him as the water beat down rhythmically around them. And he had thought… He had hoped…

 _Fucking hell._

.

.

.

"The doctor has left the country again?"

"Yes. He returned to oversee the birth of his daughter, and took her away with him when he left." Sesshomaru sipped slowly from his glass of fine, aged wine. The musky alcohol helped to ease his panging disappointment.

He had towelled off and redressed Kagome in dry clothes before tucking her in bed next to Asahiro and joining his uncle for their evening wine.

Kedakai twirled the stem of his glass between the pads of his thumb and middle finger, setting the silky, dark liquid swirling. "I understand you had an altercation with him of sorts at the hospital. You tried to challenge him, didn't you?"

He nodded. "Who told you, uncle?"

"The Lady of his House, actually."

Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow. "Ah, yes, he hails from a matriarchal society, doesn't he? Why did the esteemed Lady see fit to inform you of my encounter with her vassal?"

His uncle grinned. "It seems she doesn't wholly approve of the covenant he made."

"Oh?"

"Yes. She admits that it was quid pro quo, 'give and take' and all that, but sympathized with the poor girl. She sends her condolences."

Sesshomaru scoffed. "Much good her condolences do us."

His uncle nodded. "From what I understand, they had an altercation of their own. The Lady first called for him to undo the covenant entirely, to which he protested that the Lady was not part of his clan, and did not understand the desperation of the situation. She ended up agreeing with him. His clan is dying out, you know, and she understands it. She went through the same problem some centuries ago; every clan in that damn country did. It was hell, I hear. Her clan managed to pull through; most of them did, but many others went completely extinct."

"Shame," drawled Sesshomaru. "It was because of the new species that were pouring in, was it not?"

"Indeed, not to mention the diseases they brought over with them. The humans suffered deeply too."

Sesshomaru tapped the side of his glass idly with the tip of his finger, producing a dull _clink_. "Why does the doctor's clan not simply introduce new genes to the mating pool? I understand the Lady's clan is closely related to them. Surely with careful breeding the overall results would be a new generation with stronger genetics that are almost completely pure."

"Even before the invasion, they were a select, recessive race. They pride themselves on their refined features, much like the humans inexplicably gravitate towards blond hair and blue eyes."

"Worthless. They sacrifice the future of their race for aesthetics."

"It would be akin to us mating with the black inuyoukai. Yes, they are similar enough to us, but…"

"The pups would be mutts," he supplied dryly.

"Precisely."

Sesshomaru found himself reluctantly sympathizing with the doctor. Uncomfortable with such, he changed the subject, and for the next hour he and his uncle conversed in low voices about the business.

Youkai, with the long lives that they led, changed professions several times a century. It usually formed a cycle that began with their current job. Once they had lost interest, they would spend some time, usually a year or so, on vacation, simply whiling away the days and enjoying the rest. Then, they would find another profession to pursue and attend a university for the necessary studies. They would return to the workforce and the cycle would continue. Sesshomaru had been a bounty hunter before he returned to university for a degree in business. That was when he had met Kagome.

They had just begun discussing a new proposal when the sound of hesitant footsteps met his ears. He turned his head to see Kagome standing in the doorway. The darkness shrouding her was stark against her pale skin and white robe, making her look like a ghost, but her eyes were clear as she watched them uncertainly.

"Higurashi-san!" greeted Kedakai, raising his wine. "How are you feeling?"

"Horrid. I think I took too much of the pain meds." Her hand ghosted over her stomach. "I'm really hungry. Is there any food or should I order in?" It was the first time she had spoken so freely to them.

"There are sufficient supplies for a meal." Sesshomaru watched her carefully for any indication as to whether she recalled her actions in the bathroom. To his continuing disappointment, she only seemed tired and worn out as she padded into the kitchen.

"Are you two hungry?" she called.

He exchanged looks with his uncle. This was also new. "We have not eaten," he replied.

"I'm going to make udon. Would you like some?" She refused to meet their eyes, instead staring at the wooden spatula she was smacking repeatedly against her thigh. Hark! was that a blush sitting stubbornly on her cheeks?

Kedakai's mouth twitched. "Yes, Higurashi-san. We would like that very much." He mouthed, _what's gotten into her_? to his nephew.

Sesshomaru couldn't hold back the most genuine smile he had shown in years. "What can I say, uncle? The hospital pain medication must not be too strong."

.

But his happiness was short-lived. After dinner, she cornered him. "Sesshomaru, I have to talk to you."

"Yes, Kagome?"

"Look, I… I behaved abominably in the… in the shower. I have no excuses for my actions. I hope you will accept my apology, as I was out of line."

Sessshomaru was aghast. "Kagome, there is no need to apologize at all. I…" He forced himself to calm down. He regained his composure and searched her eyes deeply with his own. "Are you… Did you not mean it? What you said? About… forgiveness?"

She reddened. "I don't feel comfortable discussing this with you." But when he gripped her arm, she made no attempt to shake free.

"Kagome, then… while your mind is clear, let us discuss this again. I don't want hostility between us."

"There's no need to discuss anything." She looked away. "I remember every word."

"Then- -"

"Stop it, Sesshomaru! I know I'm in the wrong here: barging in your shower, practically forcing myself on you, and leading you to believe something that I'm taking back now, but I wasn't in my mind, alright?" She was breathing heavily, her eyes glittering. She was crying. "I… Up here, I forgive you," she choked out, tapping her head weakly, "But here…" She clasped her fist over her heart. "It still hurts… A lot.

"I heard your side of the story and I sympathize with you. I truly feel that you acted naturally during the circumstances. Even when you tried to take Asahiro from me… It's been years, and my reason is willing to let that go. To properly raise Asahiro, I want a united front… I forgive you! I forgive you for everything, Sesshomaru." She fell to her knees. Mindless, he followed her down, holding her hands. "But… every time I look at you, I remember the shame and the ridicule and the agony, _everything_. I was the joke of campus. I wanted to abort the baby, but I couldn't. I was _scared_ , Sesshomaru. My mother was dead and I had no idea what to do. Could I raise a child on my own? And when I realized that he was a full youkai in all but blood, I was terrified he would be taken from me, my one rock to hold onto. I… I did a terrible thing. I kept a father from his own son. I should never have done that. For the next six years, I lived in fear that we would be discovered. And then you found us. That was true terror. The desperation, fear, and pain I felt… All those emotions, all those memories, all the nightmares, _everything_! ...I remember all that every time I look at you, Sesshomaru.

"I can't reason away my feelings. I forgive you, but I'm still hurting. So please… just leave me alone."

She picked herself up and hurried to her room, leaving him stricken, numb there on the floor.

.

.

.

She was waiting for him at the airport.

He walked towards her, suitcase rolling obediently behind him. "Hello, Ayasha." He pulled her close and dipped a quick kiss on her lips. "How did you fare?"

"Unhappily without you, sweet."

"Daddy! Daddy!" His little boy stretched up his arms, calling to be picked up.

"Ah, little Patamon." The doctor picked his son up with one arm. "Say hello to your little sister." He smiled at Ayasha. "I saved her name for you. Have you decided?"

"Leotie," murmured the tall woman, eyes glowing gently as she stroked the baby's tiny cheek with her fingertip. "My little prairie flower." There was only the slightest tinge of jealousy clouding her beautiful face. "Will you be going back?"

"My brother will be next. I will go for the birth, but I probably won't breed with her again."

"That's good." The family began heading out of the airport, squinting into the blood-red light of the setting sun. "I know you can't help it, but it still hurts."

"I'm sorry, Ayasha." The children quickly fell asleep in the car, and the doctor used that moment to give his wife a long, drawn-out kiss. "I missed you."

She pulled away, eyes dark. "Truthfully, I don't want you to see that girl ever again." She studied her husband's face for a moment. "But it can't be avoided, I suppose."

"I'm so happy that you understand the situation and haven't left me," confessed the doctor, gazing earnestly into her eyes. "The clan has been putting a lot of pressure on you, I know, especially during my absences."

"It doesn't matter," dismissed Ayasha. "Nothing, not even the girl, matters. We have the family we could never have had, and us not being able to mate… to be sure, it is a thorn, but who knows? Your mating bond only puts her body in stasis. She could be hit by a car, get cancer, or even assassinated… she's only human, after all. And then we'll have our happily ever after."

"Ayasha, don't talk like that. She's a victim of cruel fate. She is genuinely kind."

"Tsk." She looked away. After a moment of silence, she spoke again. "I want to meet her."

"What?"

"I said, I want to meet her."

"Ayasha…"

"I'm serious. I want to know… Just what is so special about her? What is she like?" Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. "And about her could possibly entice your beast enough to be able to mate with her?"

" _Ayasha_."

"I just want to meet her. I won't lay a finger on her. Don't tell me that you would deny me this, because it wouldn't matter anyway."

The doctor sighed. "You know she doesn't know about you, Ayasha. If she finds out I have a wife, things could get complicated."

"She has a right to know. And I want to see her reaction, anyways." _I need to know… Does the human have designs on my husband?_

"It will be as you wish," surrendered the doctor. "It's not as if she could back out of the covenant anyway."

"Exactly."

The family arrived at their home, a large, sprawling one-story house nestled deep in the country. Smiling, the doctor picked up his sleeping son in his arms and unlocked the front door as his wife held their new daughter.

"Welcome home, Leotie."

* * *

 **Plot twists galore! What do you think will happen? Will Kagome and Sesshomaru reconcile? Who guessed the doctor might have a lover? Please leave me a review; they make my day. Thank you!**

 **Cheers!**

 **Philosophy Blue**


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